We all develop our very own survival strategies over the years. Things that help us deal with situations, deal with fear, stress or even overcome strokes of fate.

We all know from our own experience how good it feels to have people in those situations who are simply there for us, with open arms and ears. But more often than not, there are also those who feel compelled to share advice and wisdom, intended to help, although it rarely does. And some of that wisdom can be heard so frequently that it has almost become second nature.

But one day, much to my surprise, I discovered that those almost hated sayings for every occasion, those ever so popular proverbs, can actually be very helpful companions. Namely when you elevate them to guiding principles that come from within yourself. As self-chosen advice from you to yourself, they are not only able to give you strength, but also make you laugh at yourself, because they help you to pause and reflect on what is happening or what has just happened. These proverbs and those words of wisdom have one thing in common: they have a pretty high rate of accuracy. What sets them apart is their usefulness as a guidance for recurring situations.

"There are other fish in the sea."

This, for example, ranks very low on my list. It has never really helped, at least not in my universe. Neither in times of acute heartache, nor with relationship problems. You can safely forget it. That is, if you are able to, since you have heard it so many times.

But there are also pearls among the sayings. Words that actually help you not to give up - to carry on or to just to pause and unwind.

"Everything is going to be in the end. If it's not fine, it's not the end."

This saying, usually attributed to Oscar Wilde, helps me personally to reflect on my trust in creation and the deep meaning of existence - even in moments and at times when it is very well hidden. It reminds me that we write our own story. We experience our journey ourselves and there is a beginning and an endpoint, even if those two may lie on a circle. In the end, all circles are round.

"This too shall pass"

Perhaps my favourite saying. I use it very often, not to say all the time. Be it for long periods of rain or heat, difficult situations or even just days when everything seems to be going wrong. For me, this sentence is a support and reminder of the transience of moments and things and also appears to me in situations that are characterized by happy carelessness. "This too shall pass" applies to everything: joy and sorrow, youth and old age. Nothing stays the same. Being reminded of this by that sentence helps me to be in the moment and enjoy it fully and in other moments, to hold on, take a deep breath and carry on.

"If you're in a hurry, take a detour" or, "If you're in a hurry, take your time"

A sentence that I no longer hear me say to myself very often. But there was a time when it was a stern tutor for me. It helped me to learn not to do ANYTHING in a hurry or in a rush. It helped me to leave behind the illusions of stress and a lack of time that we are literally forced into by society as far as possible. I try to remain calm on the inside, regardless of how the "outside" behaves. The last time I heard it was on my way to an appointment, when I caught myself thinking: "I'll just go and quickly complete my shopping." I realized how just the thought alone created pressure because there was hardly any time for this "quickly". I paused, reflected on the sentence and then drove back home. And while it may be hard to believe, no harm came of doing the shopping another day at another time, in peace.

"The night is darkest just before dawn."

The situations in which this sentence can give you stability and support are the difficult ones in life. For me, it has proven to be true. Just when it seems that things will "never get better", from my experience, this is the moment just before the turning point, the improvement, the light at the end of the tunnel. It's a phrase for persevering and always taking the next step. Which brings me to the next saying:

"Don't focus on the goal, only look at the next step."

I have changed this sentence into different variations, depending on the situation. One variation is the question: "What is important NOW?", another "One thing at a time". In all its variations, this sentence is helpful when everything seems to be too much. Because one step, one thing, the next moment, is usually not too much after all, but doable.

The power of proverbs lies in their repetition over the years, decades and perhaps even, in variations, over centuries. It connects us with our ancestors. With some sayings I see my father smiling or think of my grandfather, my mother, or feel how many people have found strength through these words before. Sometimes they really do feel like a hand in your back, a humorous smile that can give you comfort or strength when you need it. "Good advice" is sometimes not so "expensive" after all.